wrong conversation by John Grochalski

 
you see
without kerouac i don’t know
what would’ve become of me
maybe i’d have become some office drone
or a teacher living in the suburbs
with a wife
and two kids that i hate
or i would’ve stayed in the warehouse.
 
it was his message and that verse
that got me
it’s what i tried to emulate for years
or recreate in my own stuff
 
the exuberance
the joy
 
but i’ve never been a joyful person
i’m spiteful and mean most
of the time
i never saw things with any kind
of holy glee
 
humanity has been a horror to me
ever since i was a child
 
and that might be why
i picked up bukowski
and fante, and all of those stone cold
others
why i like ray carver stories
 
i don’t know
 
that stuff just seemed real to me
raw
like their guts were spilled out
on the street
instead of being stuffed up buddha’s asshole
 
don’t get me wrong
i still love kerouac
and i still get that tingle of youth
when i read on the road
it’s ginsberg and corso
burroughs
and all the rest
that i can do without now.
 
and don’t get me started on gary snyder.
 
i just don’t care for that
holy
holy
holy
shit anymore.
 
that’s nice, she said,
but can we get back to talking
about why
you don’t want to
go to dinner
with my family
and your family
next friday night?

2 Responses to “wrong conversation by John Grochalski”

  1. John Grochalski is the author of The Noose Doesn’t Get Any Looser After You Punch Out. He currently lives in Brooklyn, New York.

  2. Father Luke Says:

    “Once all I knew were artists . . . ” and now I know one more.

    Gladly so.

    I’ll be picking up “The Noose Doesn’t Get Any Looser After You Punch Out.” as soon as I’m able.

    Good work.

    And thanks.

    – –
    Okay,
    Father Luke

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