The Unavoidable Crime of Losing Him by Carol Lynn Grellas
I tried to give him pills, tried to make him normal again─
He was a lone swan on a broken lake, who
wouldn’t swim to an unfamiliar place
where the cattails would be too thick for his liking
I told him, become what you’re meant to be
and nothing will be impossible─
But he was never sure which was truth or delusion.
He was too soft and I watched him disappear
through clouds until all that was left was
the shadow of an image I could barely see.
I tried to shock him back to truth, but his
was a better place and nothing could penetrate
that kind of nirvana.
He shot himself under the magnolia tree
down by the lake where the deer lope free.
They say they heard him say hallelujah
and I’d like to think someone was listening,
shouted it back, just as his body became
a dispensable, but beautiful vessel.