SMOKE JUMPER by Lucy Hell

Scrambled my mind
all the time
skinned alive
totally fried
acid coke booze sex
with girls
obsessed with self-destruction
went to see the Dead
lost my mind
but head would have rhymed
with false confidence
bad memories; I try to forget
because I’m a good girl now
all sins washed away
with self awareness
and experience …
smoke jumper
lift me high
above the flames
end the pain
of learned life lessons
introspective migraine truth
daily blues
I did not die for you
I could not dream
but still one existed
because of your touch
your offer
redemption
I beg for your forgiveness
and trust
a kiss
too loud
teach me silence
and maybe next time
Heaven will not be
so very far away.

SMOKE JUMPER by Lucy Hell

Scrambled my mind
all the time
skinned alive
totally fried
acid coke booze sex
with girls
obsessed with self-destruction
went to see the Dead
lost my mind
but head would have rhymed
with false confidence
bad memories; I try to forget
because I’m a good girl now
all sins washed away
with self awareness
and experience …
smoke jumper
lift me high
above the flames
end the pain
of learned life lessons
introspective migraine truth
daily blues
I did not die for you
I could not dream
but still one existed
because of your touch
your offer
redemption
I beg for your forgiveness
and trust
a kiss
too loud
teach me silence
and maybe next time
Heaven will not be
so very far away.

The Silence of Death by Lucy Hell

Ronald flew planes
For the Royal Air Force
British and a Jew
Was Rosenthal, but the war
Stole his name
Altered to Rossitter

Mostly he never talked
About WWII,
His medals and photographs
Lined the walls,
Speaking for him,
Pictures with Eisenhower
Standing next to his plane
His aviator helmet in hand

I think he was sad
I was too
Young to ask
Or later too self-absorbed
Thinking
The world revolved around me

And that’s how he made me feel
Safe and loved and free …

He died a month before my
First child,
His great-granddaughter
Came into the world

He would have loved her so much

And I wish I
Could have asked him more questions
About the greatest generation
So I could thank him
So I could hold his hand
So we could take long walks
Through his vineyard
Feed the donkeys
And have long talks
By the pond
Drink red wine
In the summertime
Eat cucumber salad
And argue about
Politics

I would listen more
Listen to him
Describe the bombs dropping
The planes exploding
The gunfire drowning out
The silence of death.