an evening of
stilettos and
falsettos
demons laughing
in the pale moon
light
love dancing naked
while angels cry
the sweet loss of
any sense of reality
visions of an
old muse
laughing at what
misery you brought
into the world
her soft brown skin
in that hot summer
sun
there’s a lost beach
on the other side
of the world that
remembers that
evening
THERE IS A BLACK & WHITE PHOTOGRAPH
of two little girls about 8 & 5 years old
wearing matching striped bathing caps
between them stands a man in a dark suit
his eyes so ice blue you can tell even in a
colorless photo his hands on their tiny heads
like a magician pulling them out of a top hat
in late afternoon he draws the shades un
dresses himself one by one he tells the
children to come & nap their bare backs
spooning into him who pinches their arms
shoulders buttocks instructs them to put
their spidery legs between his thighs
decades later after their father’s funeral
sisters remember those times in the four
poster bed on top of the slick quilt with
grandpa never tell anyone & they didn’t
for over 50 years until that rainy night
finishing each others’ sentences identical
memories stunned at exactness of twin
detail flashbulb goes off their own father
never hugged or kissed or touched them
grandpa who always wore a suit & tie even
in hundred degree weather buttoned up
tight except those late summer afternoons
with his two little discreet rabbits
& their secret blue thighs
The Letter
I saw the familiar handwriting
on the envelope, hearts above
every “i” in the address, and
the feather of a shadow passed
into my head. After more than
fifteen years I never thought
I’d see her handwriting again,
addressed not to me but my
husband, and I wondered what
could be inside; how she eclipsed
the blue marble sky. Alone I
watched him open the letter from
his ex-wife, a long one about his
down-and-out son, and I saw
the agony sweep into his eyes.
Way back she was the crow
thrown out in winter dawn from
early heaven and this time she’d
found something new to darken
our lives again. All this time we’d
been on the coast living such
a peaceful life and now it felt
as if she were after us, a mentally
imbalanced person with a strange
logic all her own. We’d thought
we were so far away from her
that she couldn’t bother us, and
now we were willing to move
once more to where she’d never
find us. He’d hidden her letter
away and for two months there
wasn’t a word more. So much
time had comfortably passed
til we had gone to our favorite
shop round the corner, and we
had to rush out without looking
back. Her replica or she herself,
had long ugly dreadlocks, and
it looked like she had weathered
the elements.
____________
The Weight of My Memories
The doctor won’t listen, he’s
rented out his ears when I tell
him the only family I had stole
the tiny golden cross my mother
had given me, written obscenities
in my bible, torn pages out of my
diary. Treated me as a slave till
I finally ran away, nearly robbed
me of every cent I’d made. My
poetry they couldn’t touch because
I kept it locked away; they
thought I had a legacy. Before
I’d left they’d stolen a part of
myself. The sorrow I’ve lived
with in my one bedroom apartment
visited me every day, and I wrote
sonatas for roses in their mournful
dresses, the weight of my memories
spinning their images of what life
used to be by day and when I dream;
and, before they’d leave, I’d see an
angel’s feathers black as a raven’s
wings. Slowly I’d pour my soul in
a heart of glass over the years, my
prayers in the sky nearing heaven,
the light from a dying star blessing
me in the end.
____________
Cloud Pulled Over The Sun
A dreamless three nights
sleep, my heart half empty;
the cold, hard porcelain
bathtub against my back
my only tie to reality.
It really did happen. Inside
a room in Motel 6, a visitor
in a cold, windy city, far
away from my home,
clinging to a pair of friends
I knew I shouldn’t have
trusted who I knew I should’ve
just let them go, let them
forget about me while the
years pass on by. My thought
is to leave unscathed while
I can, reaching for a tranquilizer
inside my stash, getting up to
stare at the electronic alarm
clock that reads three fifteen
a.m., its red glow the only
source of light in the room.
My thought is that I’ll never
be able to fall asleep, but my
pill is strong. My eyes close,
and my mind slows to a
sluggish crawl before gently
fading to black, bundled
up like a small child under
bleach-stiff sheets. I haven’t
had a decent sleep in days,
and the first ray of light is
no better. I see the hush of
dawn vanish, a cloud pulled
over the sun.
____________
What I Dream About
My visions are for me to keep.
You do not have permission
to ask me about what I see
or about what I dream about.
Do I look like I have schizophrenia?
I can do anything you can do
and probably better. I can work.
I block out what the voices say.
I am going to miss out on going
to the beach again this summer
by being in this place. I don’t know
why they do not take my word
over the word of people that have
sent me here. If I had a piece, I
don’t think I could kill myself or
anyone else. I say things sometimes
that I do not really mean. I do things
that I do not really mean to do.
The time I took all those pills to kill
myself was just my gift to those
that I hurt over the years. I did not
want them worrying about me.
I feel sad in the hospital. I should
not have been brought back to life.
I like the medicine despite what
others say that I do not like them.
They help me sleep and dream.
Please do not ask me questions
about what I dream about. Those
questions are too personal. If you
want to help me, tell the doctor
to look into his heart and let me go.
____________
The Night Winds
It swirls around and around,
the night winds, words from
nature. How I would die to know
what it says? It is madness
seeing it swirling around and
having fun at my expense. The
nights winds howl and cackle,
galloping like a headless horse
at the witching hour. I want to
swirl like the wind and argue with
it. I need to stand up for myself.
GOD:
A man fell in my soup
of tears and death
Evolution turned on heels, disgusted
and returned to where it had come from.
______________
Kristina Krumova is 29 years old and she lives in Sofia, Bulgaria. She has a Master’s Degree in “Contemporary history” from Sofia University and she was an Editor at New Social Poetry Magazine, Bulgaria. Her work is forthcoming in North of Oxford and The Pangolin Review. Kristina Krumova works as a freelance editor and she’s preparing her first poetry manuscript.
Well, I’ve just heard that another
One has gone, to drugs. an old
Friend that I grew up with. Now I’m
Not saying that he was in any way
Special or remarkable, he wasn’t.
If anything he was a shady,
Thieving little prick. The type
That if you shook his hand, you’d
Better count your fingers afterwards
But still, when it’s someone
Who you’ve known all of your
Life, been through times both
Good and bad with, it still
Hits home.
It’s not like I ever wanted to
Meet him again, but now that
I know that I will never again see
His gormless grin……….
No !
I am not being honest here
After all of the stunts he
Pulled on me, I could have
Quite easily killed him myself.
But still
It’s one more gone
Another piece of my past
That has been erased
And that’s
ALL
I feel
____________
Ian Lewis Copestick is a 46 year old writer from Stoke on Trent England. He has published 40 poems in 10 different Zi and plans to keep on doing it and hopefully out a book.
gather roundels
fresh bakery
bread strong black
the basics of a European
breakfast
International editions
newspapers
arrive on the early train
like the stage
take the fast train
to Paris
take tea in standard
it’s the English way
