i miss you still more
than any dead lover
who went before or
after you died morning
buttercup light faded &
i try to recreate hopeful
dawn to love the breath
i’ve been gifted but there
are days like my 75th birth
day so full of anxious grief
spent in pet ER among tiny
helpless animals adored by
owners who paid $300 for
mister nibbles their hamster
we dropped $1200 on our dog
who couldn’t catch her breath
& can’t keep food down today
she lays like a broken bird in
her soft beige nest & I struggle
to dig the joyful moment we
promised to find each day no
one to laugh with abt crooked
cocks or boring husbands plates
of gorgeous creole shrimp bottles
of pinot noir latest movies novels
poems views from bridges at dusk
our love of music &sam elliot how
we adored the tiny things & now
i stroke my radiated chest wanting
to share tales of our cancer of our
babies& their babies bright triumphs
sad failures how we loved emails
twice a day & now I never check
grandkids only text & everyone I love
is gone i miss you still & always will